Saturday, June 3, 2023

"What was your last day like?"

I talked to my brother 3 days before he died last June, both of us happy like nothing different was about to occur. We spoke about my daughter's upcoming graduation party (which he never made it to) and the future he was planning. All was relaxing. A warm evening filled with sun.

I've been avoiding visiting his memorial spot since he passed away. I finally visited it for the first time this week on a chaotic day when I was driving around. I think it was hearing the recent news of a friend passing away that caused me to feel sadness so I thought, why not just see all I've been avoiding since last year. 

Brought my younger brother a flag to his beautiful silver tomb on the wall by the river. He was a Marine. 

Walking back to my car I felt my some stress I'd been carrying around slowly evaporate a bit. Some weight lifted there and I'm not sure why. Always found cemeteries to be peaceful verses fearful. 

I've woke up super queasy every day since this day. Not sure if there's any connection. 

I had one short dream this morning right before waking up
One question. I asked,

"What was your last day like?" 

I felt a small tilt move me from my back to my side, towards the window, brightness forcing my eyes open, as the sun gazed into my face, waking me up.

Alone

I'm here. Was gonna call but I know you'd want news of how well it all is. I'd have to have an orchestrated story up my sleeve a...